Curve Balls

Do you ever just have the feeling of the need to write something? You don’t know what it is, but you just have the need to write about something? You are just grasping for that “Aha moment”. You are striving to be enlightened in some mystical way. How else can I describe it?

Life is a challenge, we can all agree on that. No hiding from that fact. You know, I always feel like I talk about myself… granted, it is my blog about myself. So, isn’t that the way it should be? I think so, but I’m always curious to know what is going on in your lives. What are your ups and your downs? Have you recently moved on from something or is something nagging at you? Now, I know we all can’t become bloggers and express everything, but I encourage you to write about your days. Talk about what is bothering you, or just talk about why you still feel life is good, even though you struggle to find that little bit of hope.

Well, wasn’t that refreshing? Let’s get back to me now, seeing as you’re here to read Nick Pensari’s blog… Ha ha. How do I put this in simple wording? Hmm… lets see. Today was defiantly not how I imagined it to go. Life ever throw you those wicked curve balls that through off your whole plan? Like the Joker in Batman, “We’re all schemers, you introduce a little anarchy and disrupt the established order and everything turns to chaos”. We all have this plan to follow, call it our “pre-destination”, but every now and then, your plan gets a little mixed up and you feel yourself off of the course and into new and unexplored territory. Well folks, this is your captain speaking, it is time to buckle up. We may experience some turbulence. These curve balls can disrupt everything. You begin to question your own existence and wonder if everything is just a dream. But, oh the big ole but. But, isn’t that what makes life great? I mean, it isn’t the greatest thing to encounter these curve balls, but they are what help you to decide your character and lead you to bigger and brighter things. Sometimes these curve balls can help you realize what are the most important things in your life and why you have them. Sometimes the biggest times you feel enlightened is when you are faced with a challenge. Do you give up or do you scale the mountain? I would hope you scale your mountain and face your problems.

For me, I’ve thought about giving up on climbing the mountain, but I didn’t. Why didn’t I? First off, who is going to fix Washington? Without me, humanity is hopeless. Not to be all high and mighty, but I’m going places. No doubt about that. (U mad, Bro?) Next, It honestly isn’t worth it. Why let the game be over when you haven’t even taken off your warm-ups. The ball hasn’t even been pitched yet. We’re still on the practice field. Now, a lot of things can happen on this practice field, but that is the point of it. You learn from your mistakes and figure out how to solve them.

Even if practice becomes too tiresome, remember your teammates and your fans that count on you. Your teammates are there to keep you going when the going gets tough. There is a reason why there is no “I” in team. Together, Everyone Always Matters, right? Use them to your advantage; they are there for a reason. Nobody always has to be the hero. Sometimes it is nice to know you have backup. Your fans look up to you. To them, you are almost a god. You are their role model. Who is your role model? Why are they that? What are your fans going to think when they see you throw in the towel? They are going to be devastated if their hero gives up. what about their hope? People count on you. Now, don’t let that be too much of a burden, because you are still doing things for yourself, but your actions can affect everyone and everything around you. Think before you do something. Is it worth it? Just remember that you always have your team to count on if things get tricky. When we send in the Navy SEALS, we send a whole team. Not just Charlie Sheen… You don’t have to be alone in the operation. Next, remember that you have people who look up to you. You will always have fans. They will keep you up even when you can’t make a single run. They look up to you, and you rely on that to keep you going strong.

Life is good, and it will forever be good. Keep climbing your mountain. Don’t throw in the towel after a few bad innings. Use your team, don’t do it alone. They will always be there to lend a helping hand. Your fans will keep you motivated to finish strong. Watch those curve balls, and when they come at you, hit them straight out of the ballpark. 

Letter to our Senator

December 11^th, 2011

Senator Hatch:

Hello, my name is Nicholas Pensari. I am your constituent in the State of Utah. I am currently a junior at Alta High School. I serve as our school’s Junior Class President. I also represent our debate team as Public Affairs Officer.  I hope to pursue a career as a lawyer, practicing civil rights law. Eventually I plan to run for public office to give back to a community that has given much to me.

The Reason for writing this letter regards your recent comments regarding the Payroll Tax debate. You were recently quoted stating “It’s hard for the majority to call this a compromise when the other side hasn’t been involved.  Frankly, the only thing bipartisan about this latest political gambit is opposition to the permanent tax hike on small businesses to pay for temporary one-year tax policy.  With the long list of things Congress has to get done by the end of the year and the clock ticking, it’s pretty mystifying that the majority is pursuing more political show votes that won’t go anywhere.” I’m writing this letter, because I feel that as your constituent I should have a voice and be able to voice my opinion. That is what I hope to do here. I want my voice heard on Capitol Hill.

I would like to respectfully disagree with your position on the current payroll tax debate. Belonging to a middle-class American family, this tax-cut has been an added benefit to struggling families. Even though it isn’t a large amount, $1,500 dollars back in the pockets of Americans is a great thing. The Republican rhetoric of not raising taxes, in my opinion, is hypocrisy. Why is it okay for taxes to be raised on middle-class Americans, but as soon as somebody wants to tax the upper 1%, it becomes a rallying call against Democrats? Being in the middle of the political spectrum, I am able to see both sides of the field. I would love for our elected officials in Washington to stop with the game playing and actually work for the good of the American people.

In your own quote, you say that there are a lot of things to get done before the end of the year. What are some of those things? Isn’t getting Americans back to work and keeping this country strong the most important thing? What about the gridlock with the Debt Super-Committee? We gave them months to come up with a plan and they couldn’t. What about the debt-ceiling incident in the summer? Our elected officials almost brought this country to the edge. You, as my elected official are responsible for keeping this country strong. You have let me down, Senator.

Why can’t we all work together and finally get something done? What ever happened to the principle of respect and working for the greater good? I know for a fact that both sides have no problem throwing punches to the other side. Most Americans know that both sides are guilty in the situation. We don’t need our officials pointing fingers are each other. We get that everyone is in trouble. For me, I feel that Washington is like a kindergarten classroom. Everyone has spilled the paint on the classroom floor, but blames everyone else. As the teacher, you aren’t mad, but you just want them to be accountable for their actions. I want our officials to be accountable for these current problems.

With compromising, I feel that we should extend the tax-cut and allow taxes to be raised on the upper 1%. Everyone needs to pay their fair share in the group. If you make more, I feel you should pay more. Life isn’t fair, but it is the best we have. With the issue of the Oil Pipeline, it is irrelevant in the issue. How do you argue that we need compromise when the thing Republicans want doesn’t even relate to the subject at hand? These are the games that I have discussed earlier. They are unnecessary.

To close, thank you for your time in reading my letter. I hope to hear a response back from you in the coming weeks.

Respectfully yours,

Nicholas Pensari

Junior Class President

The Story Of Moving On

Out With The Old, In With The New: The Story of Moving On

Man, life is one wild ride. It feels like that one roller coaster at your favorite amusement park. The one with the longest line and holds the record for the most people vomiting in the tri-state area. It has its ups and its downs. Well, I’ve made it my personal goal to not complain on my blog. Nobody wants to read about other people’s problems, so I try to take my own problems and make a learning experience or at least see the bright side to it. Granted, for those of you who know me personally, I haven’t been the best at staying positive the last few weeks. In fact, I’ve acted down right miserable. It gets annoying, I know. I’d like to formally apologize for that. We all have our off times. Even George Washington had down points in his life. Well, lets get to the real point of why I’m posting tonight.

You ever hear the saying: Out with the old, In with the new? Well ladies and gentleman, Nick Pensari is at that crossroad of life. Recently, a few negative things have affected my life. I don’t feel like going into details, because it is irrelevant to the matter at this point in time. Stuff happens in life, I think we can all agree with that. For me, a few things have been really bothering me. I was to the point that I felt like I was in the bottom of a well with no way of getting back up. I felt that it was better to feel pity for myself, rather than pick myself up from the bootstraps and climb back on the horse. I took a very negative outlook towards life, became bitter towards others, and even got to the point where all my faith in humanity was diminished. I wanted nothing more than to watch the world burn. It felt good at first to have hatred towards everything. It made myself feel better, but as the days dragged on, it continued to wear at me. The foundation I had built to make myself feel better slowly eroded to the point where I no longer had a foothold and spiraled into my bottomless well. Downer, huh? Tell me about it. Last but not least, it probably didn’t help the situation that I’m currently reading 1984. That book is not a good read for those in a well. Oh well, great book. I love it.

No more, I say! I’m tired of being down and wallowing in the negatives. It does a number on a man. I’m proud to announce that it is the perfect time to kick out the old and bring in the new. It will take time, but I feel that it is better to try and keep the chin up. Never give up on a good fight. Take Joe Louis, for example. He lost in 1936 to the German Boxer Max Schmeling during the 12^th round. He could have thrown in the gloves and give up, but no. What did he do? Faced him again and knocked him out during the first round. Joe picked himself back up and went back to the ring. He fought the good fight. He didn’t give up. Why should we give up on something? Don’t give up. It is the time for me to pick myself back up and get back to business.

To quote the Joker “And here we go…” Let’s get back to life. Life is not easy, it is not all fun and games, but it is always good. Remember that: Life is Good.

-Nicholas 

*Side note: You guys are the greatest support I have. Thank you so much for everything. The support I get for this blog is awesome. I love all of you. Once again, Thank you!! 

Leap of Faith

My very first blog I talked about taking a chance. I told you to take a chance and tell that girl you like her. What was holding you back? Rejection? Pain? Suffering? Well, the real pain and suffering was that you hadn’t taken your leap of faith. You just sat by and let the world pass you by.

I gave the illusion that I was a perfect human and took every chance I could. Well, to be honest, I lied. I’m extremely passive. I didn’t have the courage to tell the girl I like that I like her. I felt like the biggest hypocrite in the world that I would say one thing, but I didn’t even take a swig of my own medicine. How could you trust me? But all of that has changed.

I have the wonderful news that I am no longer that man. I finally bucked up and took my leap. I told that girl how I feel. To be honest, it is one of the proudest moments I have had happen to me. Right now, I feel as if a thousand pounds have been lifted off of my chest. I feel free. I freed myself from mental slavery. It is truly one of the greatest feelings to finally have relief. Relief from living in mystery to finally being able to openly express yourself.

It wasn’t smooth sailing, but the task was accomplished. Even if it doesn’t work out, I still feel proud that I did it. I almost backed down a few times, but I had finally had enough. I wasn’t going to continue to push myself back. It was time for me to man up and take back control of my life. Well, my friends. I did just that.  Now, as of this moment, I have no word on the status of it, but in my own heart, I consider it a victory. Why? I took back control of my life. I can officially not worry myself to the max. I no longer have to worry about the stresses. I have handed the ball off. It is off my hands, and I feel great because of it. To be honest, I feel like I’m standing on top of a mountain. Now, I can sort of understand what it must have felt like for Andrew Jackson to defeat the British in New Orleans. Like Jackson, I went up against the odds, but I had hope. I may have felt lower some days than others, but I never lost hope. I tried to keep my head up whenever possible. I have won a major victory in my heart over this and jeez, what an incredible feeling.

To close, the thing I want you to remember is to never lose hope. Always keep your chin held high. Always remember that reinforcements are there next to you. I won’t name names, but they all know who they are. Thank you. Remember: “you miss one hundred percent of the shots you don’t take.” –Wayne Gretzky. Take that shot. Who knows, you may just win the Stanley cup. Life is Good.

Nicholas

Current Endeavors

First off, I would like to offer my sincerest apologies for the lack of blog writing the last two weeks. They say war is hell, but in reality, being a high school teenager is hell. My life has been extremely chaotic that I feel like I haven’t had a chance to just stop and take a breath. I finally managed to escape from reality for a few minutes to post this blog. I’m going to take the time I have now to fill you guys in on why my life has been crazy. Let’s just be clear here, life may be crazy right now, but it is still good! No need to worry there, guys.

To begin, my month of October hasn’t been my brightest time of the year. Something about that month that always seems to bring me down. This year has been tougher than past. I felt like I was overwhelmed with everything on my plate. Most of you know that my life is very busy and I’m extremely active in my community and school. As you all may know, every great leader has bad moments. I had one of those. I seem to get an idea in my head and tend to over think it to the point where I can’t tell reality from what my mind thinks. I’m sure we have all had this happen to them. Oh well, you just have to keep carrying on, right?

Next, I was selected to represent Alta at the United States Senate Youth Program Competition along with Alli Wright. We have the opportunity to be able to represent the state of Utah in Washington D.C. for a week to learn about the federal government and receive a substantial scholarship from the Hearst Foundation. It is honestly a chance of a lifetime! You have no idea how incredible it is to be involved in this experience. That has taken up a good portion of time and has led to a great deal of stress in my life, but I handled it. Just got to keep your head held high, my friends!

This past weekend I was able to compete in the Utah Debate Coaches Speech Arts Classic. I had a tough time wanting to go, but I bucked up and went. What would you know, I managed to take second place and was elected best chair in Varsity Congress. It was an incredible feeling to know that I busted my butt and with that, I received great reward for my hard work. It is a great feeling to have in your heart.

Finally, I just want to express my thanks to all those who have supported me in my endeavors. You guys are AMAZING! You honestly have no idea how great of a support system I have. Thank you very much for everything! I truly mean it! Well, those were just two of the big things currently in my life. There are more, but I’ll save them for a later date. Just remember that life is good. Stay golden.

Respectfully yours,

Nicholas 

Mountain Side Baptist Church

Howdy folks! I hope that you guys have enjoyed your Sunday like I have! Ever just have those days where everything seems to go well? Yep, I had one of those days today. Today was the first time I went to church in a long time. I’m sure that most of you know about my denouncing of religion and the idea of a Creator entirely, but I’ll get a little more into that in a bit. Well, how about we move on now. What do you say? Yes? Good.

            Gabi, my younger sister, has been going to Mountain Side Baptist Church for some time now. She absolutely loves the place. Being there today made me realize why she loved the place. Everyone is so nice there! Not that “Fake nice” that you encounter in most religious realms, but I felt that they were all sincere about it. Everyone said hello to each other and asked how everything was going. It is a small congregation of maybe 75 people. The room where they have the service is a little larger than an elementary school classroom. So, everyone is given the opportunity to meet and greet. Now normally I don’t like being the social one in a place that is unfamiliar to me, but they made me feel right at home.

            The reason for going today was that Gabi decided to be baptized. Being her brother, I of course, had to go. I don’t like religion… I think it is fake and hypocritical. The concept of God has come into question multiple times in my life. I claim to be an Atheist in this chapter in my life for what has happened to me in dealing with religion. I was a little worried I’ll admit it. I was terrified to go. Why you may ask? Well, I felt that if I walked into this building the sky would go black, water would turn to blood, and I’d be struck down with a bolt of lightening. True story, this was the fear in my head. A little extreme, but still a thought. But the last couple of weeks, I have been struggling with some issues involved in my life. Maybe a little bit of depression, but I’m not a doctor, so don’t trust me. Oh well… So, back to my story, I’d have really low days and would be down in the dumps, but then a few things would happen and I would have a great day! Maybe just luck, but maybe something bigger is at work. It was convenient that I would have the worst days and then like clockwork, positive things would bring me back up. Who knows? I guess I got to keep searching, right? So I was a little suspicious of going today, but after going I feel even better than before. I even decided that I’m going again next Sunday to make sure that maybe it wasn't just a fluke, but something may be happening. I guess we’re just going to have to wait and see.

            But, all in all, Life is Good. It may bring you down, but in the end it is always good. I’m super proud of you, Gabi for your commitment! I love you and I can’t wait to take you next weekend. Life is good, my friends. Happy Travels.

-Nick

Life is good

Why do we speed when we drive in a car? Why do we always speed through the journey and miss the little things? We only live once, right? Why waste it? A close friend of mine once explained to me that by going the speed limit on the road, it gives him every opportunity to enjoy the life he was given. That day opened my eyes to the realization that there is so much more to life than we could ever imagine. Most times it is right in your face and you are going too fast to even notice it, even if it was something small. Rule #32: Enjoy the little things –Zombieland. To quote Bob Marley, “None but ourselves can free our minds”, we are a generation who sits around and does nothing to accomplish our goals, we need to slow down and free ourselves and start to enjoy the life we were given. What are they going to say at your funeral? “John, was a nice guy, he owned a lot of stuff and made $250,000 a year.” No! Why would you want to be remembered for that? You know what I want to be remembered for? All the laughs and good times I made with the best people in my life. In the end, it doesn’t matter what you owned, all that matters is that you lived life to your fullest potential. Think ahead and ask yourself what you want to be remembered for, then get out there and make your dreams come alive! Be a trailblazer in your life.

I’ll be the first to admit it, I’m a very cautious person, I don’t just dive in when I know I should, most times I just sit by and let the moment pass me by. Why? I’m too afraid to take a chance. I’m afraid of rejection, sadness, and pain. I get made fun of all the time by my friends because of this. They always tell me to man up and take a chance. What is the worst that could happen with a chance? “You miss 100% of the shots you don't take”- Wayne Gretzky. Why not take your life in your hands and control your own destiny? Maybe you like a girl and take a chance to tell her how you feel and she says no. Oh well, there are others, but what if you didn’t tell her? Then what? She just slides by and becomes another thing you beat yourself up over. Stop beating yourself up! Stuff happens, we get that. Tell that girl you like her! Be proud that you are doing that! Even if she says no, you still did it! That counts for something, right? Of course it does! Note: I am trying my best to become more of a trailblazer in my life that is why I’m writing this paper to help others just like myself over come problems. “Above all, try something” – Franklin D. Roosevelt

Let’s talk about things that can bring us down and how to solve this. After all, we are going to be the problem solver, not the problem maker who sits by and lets it wear them down. I’m going to tell you about a few personal experiences of mine. I haven’t always been the happy, carefree kid. I used to struggle a lot with emotions. For a short period of time, I hated life. I just didn’t care anymore, and I hated everything possible. Puberty, it’s a pain. what can I tell ya? I think a lot of it came from starting at a new school, bullying problems, and my issues dealing with being over weight and not liking myself for who I was. 

Middle school was a bit of a tough transition for me. I wasn’t used to the new responsibilities. It is also an awkward time for most kids. These are the years when society ships out the 12-14 year olds to a deserted island so they can mutate and when the time is right, we’ll welcome them back into society with open arms. Middle School. Do you get what I mean? It is when your voice changes, you become disproportioned in your arms and legs, your face looks like it was invaded by some alien race, and everyone is either mad or happy or both at the same time. Do you see my problem now? But listen, life just goes down hill from there, so don’t worry about it. Wait, what? I thought this was supposed to be positive? Oh, yes, it is. My apologizes.  What I can say is fairly simple: just keep your head up; it only lasts a few years. You’ll survive, because I did, and if I can, so can you!

Dealing with bullies is kind of a tough situation. How I handled it probably wasn’t the best thing to do. I finally had enough of this kid, so what does any hormonal teenage boy do? Fight the son of a gun. That’s exactly what I did. I fought him; it was probably the most exciting and most terrifying moment of my whole life up until that point. I don’t recommend fighting anyone. I learned a valuable lesson that day: To every action there is always an equal and opposite reaction. Thanks to Newton and his laws of motion. You may think that you did something good, but there will always be an opposite result. Bummer. Remember that, it will come in handy at some point in your life (trust me). That day I took a chance and took control of my own life. Of course, the outcome was a different story, but we’ll save that for a different time. The real lesson I want you to learn right now is that bullies suck, but remember that they are people too. Most of the time it is because they were bullied too and that the only way to feel better is by hurting others to build themselves up. I don’t talk to this kid and he doesn’t talk to me, but in no way, shape, or form do I have a hatred for him. If anything, I feel sorry that I had to resort to aggression and violence to solve the problem. Just be the bigger person, remember to be empathetic towards others. I’ll admit it, I started to bully a few kids because of how I felt until I remembered how much I hated it being done to me. Nobody deserves to ever be put down. I can’t tell you how bad I feel for what I did because of what happened to me. We are all unique individuals who all bring something new to the table. Be there at the right moment and right time, who knows, you may one day become friends with that bully.

Love who you are! Lady Gaga says we are all born this way, and we are! You’re stuck with yourself until the end. Me, I’m a kid who struggles with being over weight. I hated myself for it. I’m a very self-conscience kid, I probably judge myself everyday more than anyone I know. I couldn’t stand to look at myself anymore, but you know what changed in me? It didn’t matter what I looked like on the outside, because inside of me I know that I’m a great person! I have a little thing I do to build my self-esteem, when the whole bullying thing didn’t work, I turned to building up others around me. I started telling people they were awesome. It became my rallying call. I had enough of people being put down, so I felt that if I could build everyone up around me and have their self-esteem go up, then in turn, I would become happier with myself knowing that I made an impact. I have been doing that for about 3 years now and it has worked so much more than I would have ever thought. It has worked so well that I used it as my campaign slogan for student government in high school (which I’ve won both years in a row, so I’m thinking that something may be working there). Be proud of who you are! We are unique and individual no matter how hard Tyler Durden from Fight Club tells you different. Don’t worry about comparing yourself to others. It won’t matter who is better at what, because everyone has weaknesses and strengths.

Those are some of the challenges I have dealt with in recent years and I hope you learned at least of a little something from it, maybe even shed a tear or laugh (whatever floats your boat.) Just remember that life is a wonderful thing and should be lived to the fullest! You never know when your last day will be! Take a chance, tell that girl you like her! Tell someone they are awesome! If you are a bully, forgive who hurt you and work to fix your wrong! If you don’t like yourself, find something you do like! “Never, never, never, never give up!” Winston Churchill. Trust me, giving up never helped anyone. What would have happened if the American Patriots didn’t want to go out and fight for our independence? What if Led Zeppelin didn’t feel like rocking the faces off of humans? Where would we be? They took a chance and lived life to the fullest! Listen, life may get you down and it can suck. I have crappy days too, but I don’t let it get me down, I lift my chin up and go head first into the next problem. You can too! Get out there, and discover something new!  Always remember that life is good.